i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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