batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
