i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
