Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
