Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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