People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
