Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
