dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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