who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
