It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
