I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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