Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
did i just pee glitter
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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