Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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