boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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