so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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