so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
