please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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