I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
