There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
