Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
