I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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