Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
