All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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