I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
