is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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