two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
