I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
