Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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