...so i touched it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my liver is dry heaving
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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