i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What drink are we having for lunch?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
