We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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