Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
