Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
