yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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