she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
