Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How's work?
Spinning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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