Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
