it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
