I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
