Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
