Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
