the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
