none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
