After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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