Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
