I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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