three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
