He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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