i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
