Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
