see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
